Friday, December 31, 2010

Cold or warm?

Orson Scott Card had an interesting observation, I think it was in the sequel to his famous science fiction novel Ender's Game: one character talked about another person as being very cold. Another character replied: "then imagine how hot even the slightest warmth will seem to her."

I think that's important. I realized years ago that there is no such thing as coldness. There are only various degree of warmth.

And further, one should not be too impatient with a cold person, whether that person is another or oneself. Because too much warmth too fast simply is painful. Things take time. All that matters is willingness, and things will happen.

Oh, and related: Emma Thompson I think it was, in a DVD commentary, commented on a character that she was stone cold and "the kind of person who processes nothing, she will be the same at death as she was as child", or words to that effect.
I agree it will seem that way. But think of an ice cube. If it's close to zero degrees C, it melts when it warms up, and change is visible. But if the cube is markedly colder than that, it warms up, but no change is visible. Yet.

Mixed thoughts

"Look, the guy was angry. Ever been there?"
(By a friend explaining to others that they didn't have to rally behind for attack by another.)

I think it helps the ego to understand a "reason" for forgiveness, and thus can help progress, if you find a good explanation. In this example, remembering how you feel and act when really angry can help forgive the anger of others.

"Onward, ever onward."

Said by a teen girl who was brain-damaged by a violent rape, and could hardly talk or walk. Yet she progressed on with good courage.
Wherever you are, that's where you start.

The best way out is always through.
-- Robert Frost

Face things. Takes courage, but it's how it works.

Even the best of friends need time apart.
-- Mark Heath

I got very sad and confused when I no longer was in contact with people who used to be close friends. But I'm starting to see the whole game as a big, complex progress which we can't overview from a human viewpoint, and if you're apart, it may be with good reason, and you'll always meet again in the end (though maybe not in this lifetime).

I began to have an idea of my life, not as the slow shaping of achievement to fit my preconceived purposes, but as the gradual discovery and growth of a purpose which I did not know.
-- Joanna Field

Couldn't have said it better.

My own thoughts recently:

It all starts with the intention. It might take time to see the results though. 

Good to remember, so you don't get discouraged when it takes time. 

Thursday, December 30, 2010

A few quotes

The roots of true achievement lie in the will to become the best that you can become.
-- Harold Taylor

Believe in life! Always human beings will live and progress to greater, broader and fuller life.
-- W. E. B. Du Bois, last message to the world, 1957

If we can connect in some tiny way with a human that doesn't agree with us, then maybe we won't blow up the planet.
-- Nancy White


Re: the first one, you can consider that as either "become the best you can and beat all the others," or progressing to higher levels of mind or such. I like that, works on many levels.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

"Apres moi, le deluge"

"Apres moi, le deluge"
Loose translation: After I've left, chaos will reign.

Really? Wow, what power!       :-)

From this article:
"In my heart of hearts I consider that many pompous expressions, though execrable, pass for true among the human race and are frequently repeated by the people, as for example: “Let them hate me, so long as they fear me.”

Cindy Lora-Renard

The Disappearance Of The Universe author's Gary Renard's wife Cindy, interviewed.

Check out her song Summer And Smoke on iTunes (long preview!), it's dang good. For real.
Here are the full songs of some.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010


I just heard that anthropologists are fond of reminding us that reciprocity is essential to gift-giving. You have to give something back, in other words.

You know, I don't think so.

In the ego's world, it's essential. In the free world, has no relevance at all.

A friend of mine (Hi Carsten) once said something very wise, on the subject of help, not gifts, but surely related:

"If you have to somebody back when they have helped you, then it's not help, then it's just business."

In the wonderful movie As Good As It Gets, the Helen Hunt character, who has gotten very big help from the Jack Nicholson character, asks him after he asks for a big favor: "are you saying accepting your help obligates me?" And he says: "I don't think there's any other way of seeing it."

I'm sure he doesn't. And the character, brilliantly played by Nicholson, is a highly neurotic person and deep in the ego's world, although he has love (and literary talent) which is clearly working its way out.

Friday, December 17, 2010

The Roads to God

They say there are thousands of roads to god. And I believe it.
I think though that a couple of the most important ones are:

  • Observation
  • Advanced forgiveness
  • Communication
  • Envisioning Oneness

Re Observation: the ego and the evils of life persist mainly because we can't face them. A major part of most good therapies and philosophies is look directly at things and see them as they are. Just observe them, and without judgment. (This can take a while to achieve though for many subjects.)

Advanced forgiveness is a big subject, but has much to do with Letting Go of things, especially negative emotions, and things one is attached to for better or worse.

Any communication, in the broadest sense of the word (including perception) is a gradual breaking of the belief in separation. Each little communication heals the separation a little bit. This is basically what the universe was made for, it's a big Communication Machine.

Especially when one is getting closer to Awakening, one might get perceptions of Oneness. Of Unity. Often associated with white light. These perceptions sometimes can be helped along by envisioning Oneness on purpose.
I believe this is a great accelerator of the awakening process, but it is also very disturbing to the Ego, which believes falsely that it (you) *is* separated from Oneness (God), and that it has to remain so, because daddy is soooo p***d off. The depth and intensity of the Fear that the idea of contact with Oneness engenders is incredible, it defies any description.
That's why it takes such a long time.

Friday, December 10, 2010

humble truth

Such is the irresistible nature of truth that all it asks, and all it wants, is the liberty of appearing. 
-- Thomas Paine

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

No opinions

Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all.
  -- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

People tend to play a bit fast and loose with the "nothing is more ... than" expressions, but apart from that, he has a point.
Now the question is, is this apathy/ignorance, or enlightenment?
The bottom mirrors the top in many things.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

You get what you want

Another favorite:

I will receive whatever I request.

No one desires pain. But he can think that pain is pleasure. No one would avoid his happiness. But he can think that joy is painful, threatening and dangerous. Everyone will receive what he requests. But he can be confused indeed about the things he wants...

A Course In Miracles, Lesson 339

Thursday, December 2, 2010

How to make goals

A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory.
           -- Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

Now this is very true. But don't forget one thing: Almost all the goals are goals in the Ego's world. The dream world. And they won't make you happy.
And further, the ability to doubt is essential to rising above the beliefs which keeps us trapped in this material world. People who never doubt anything may become emperors, but they don't meet god/Source.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

We all have impact

The first paragraph is from Gary Renard's newsletter:

HUGH PRATHER, 1938 - 2010
Over seven years ago I did my first radio interview. At that time The Disappearance of the Universe had only been out about six months, and I had just conducted my first Workshop in Boston two weeks before. The interview was on Wisdom Radio, and the guy interviewing me was Hugh Prather. Hugh had written a famous book called Notes to Myself in 1970, and it had sold millions. I managed to make it through the interview, with a big assist from the Holy Spirit, and then after that Hugh and I had a few moments to chat. I asked him if he could give me any helpful hints about going out and speaking to a crowd, which he had done thousands of times. He simply said, "Don't make it about you. Make it about them. You want them to have the information and experience that you have to offer. Forget you're even there. Make it about them getting the communication. If you forget about yourself and focus on the message then you'll be fine." That piece of advice proved to be very helpful to me at the time. I never got to meet Hugh in person, but I'm grateful to him for taking the time to be kind to me and give me advice. We all touch so many lives, and sometimes we have more of an effect on them than we realize. Hugh made his transition two weeks ago, but communication never passes away. Thanks, Hugh. 

Right. Think of how many people may think about something you said or did, without you being aware of them thinking about it. And then add to this, like the Course says, "Communication is not limited to the small range of channels the world recognizes" (M-25.2:2). In fact, personally I believe that by far most communication is outside human perception.

What it adds up to is, like Steve Jobs expressed it, "a ding in the Universe" which is far larger than we may know.

- Eolake

Power vs greatness

We have, I fear, confused power with greatness.
-- Stewart L. Udall


This is funny, just received this joke:
"Just look at this body," boasted the fit old man to the group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups and thirty sit-ups and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you know why? Because I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, AND I don't chase women!"
He smiled, his eye gleaming.
"And tomorrow, I celebrate my 95th birthday!"
"Oh, really?" said one sarcastic youngster. "How?”


It’s funny because Saturday I was feeling particularly good, and I remembered Pursah had said that J says when you have nothing to forgive, don’t chase it up, instead celebrate the fact… And I had the same problem: how!? I don’t drink or party.
How do you celebrate when earthly "pleasures" no longer are interesting to you?

I looked up celebrate, and found out one definition is "to make known publicly; proclaim”. So I wrote about thankfulness.

Note that I don't think there is anything sinful or destructive about any of those things, it's just that they don't interest me very much, never did much, and do less and less.

(I used to say: "I don't smoke, drink, or chase cars".)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


I often have to say "I'm meditating", despite never have had a minute's study in formal meditation, I have no clue what it is.
But then when I look up the word:

meditation - 3 dictionary results
the act of meditating.
continued or extended thought; reflection; contemplation.
transcendental meditation.
devout religious contemplation or spiritual introspection.

It really is a very, very wide field indeed. Especially definition two, which I find very useful indeed. Contemplation. Look at things. Observe things.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

ACIM lesson 325

Lesson 325

All things I think I see reflect ideas.

This is salvation's keynote: What I see reflects a process in my mind, which starts with my idea of what I want. From there, the mind makes up an image of the thing the mind desires, judges valuable, and therefore seeks to find. These images are then projected outward, looked upon, esteemed as real and guarded as one's own. From insane wishes comes an insane world. From judgment comes a world condemned. And from forgiving thoughts a gentle world comes forth, with mercy for the holy Son of God, to offer him a kindly home where he can rest a while before he journeys on, and help his brothers walk ahead with him, and find the way to Heaven and to God.

(In audio by Gene Bogart.)

Friday, November 19, 2010

About patience

I never quite understood why A Course In Miracles and The Disappearance Of The Universe stress the need for Patience. Sometimes I have trouble being patient, and I realize I'd feel better if I had more, but I didn't see how it helped the process of waking up.

But today I realized that for many people, if they don't have the patience for a long task, they give up. Go and do something else.
Since I am driven, and driven hard, this was never an option for me, so I didn't see it.
But I really want want awakening, a trillion times more than I want anything else. It's so intense that it's normally suppressed for me.

"When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere." -- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The end of logic

Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end of it. 
 - Spock, Star Trek 6

I think it's cool to put this line in the mouth of a character who is famous for basing everything on Logic. If one is a big believer in logic, it's not an easy thing to learn otherwise.

Monday, November 8, 2010

What is the last judgment?

Part of A Course In Miracles Workbook Instruction 10, What is the Last Judgment?

Christ's Second Coming gives the Son of God this gift: to hear the Voice for God proclaim that what is false is false, and what is true has never changed. And this the judgment is in which perception ends. At first you see a world that has accepted this as true, projected from a now corrected mind. And with this holy sight, perception gives a silent blessing and then disappears, its goal accomplished and its mission done.

The final judgment on the world contains no condemnation. For it sees the world as totally forgiven, without sin and wholly purposeless. Without a cause, and now without a function in Christ's sight, it merely slips away to nothingness. There it was born, and there it ends as well. And all the figures in the dream in which the world began go with it. Bodies now are useless, and will therefore fade away, because the Son of God is limitless.

You who believed that God's Last Judgment would condemn the world to hell along with you, accept this holy truth: God's Judgment is the gift of the Correction He bestowed on all your errors, freeing you from them, and all effects they ever seemed to have.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

A tourist in your world

The camera makes everyone a tourist in other people's reality, and eventually in one's own.
           -- Susan Sontag

I think she means this is a bad thing. But I don't think so.

Be passersby.
Be a tourist in your own reality. 

... I think those say just the same.

I've always loved photographing, and I suspect that one of the effects of it is just that it makes you an observer instead of a participant. Again, most people would feel this is bad, but this is just the ego and the dream protecting itself. You stay trapped in the dream so long as you're participating in the drama. When you start observing instead, you're on the way out.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Perception is a mirror

"Perception is a mirror, not a fact." 
- A Course In Miracles, Workbook lesson 304

That has to be one of the most important things one can learn.

Saturday, October 16, 2010


"It is hard to fill a cup which is already full."
- Avatar

Ain't dat de truth? The best defence ignorance have is ignorance of ignorance. If you think you already know a lot, you are not looking for more learning, particularly not that which does not fit in with what you "know".

Ms Goudge

Most of the basic truths of life sound absurd at first hearing.
           -- Elizabeth Goudge

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Money guilt

Most people have troubles or Guilt issues around money or giving. And many students of A Course In Miracles look for the answer there. But once again, the course is not concerned with behavior, only thought. (Because behavior in a non-existent world does not matter.)
Like Ken Wapnick says:

The specific behavior of giving or not giving is of no concern to the Holy Spirit. His agenda is only the content of the mind that has the power to choose to remember or forget its identity as mind. The crossroads in every situation consists in one road that leads to the guilt of the ego's thinking, and one that leads to the peace of the Holy Spirit. Whether you give or don't give, the ego's road is paved with the guilt that originates in the mind that chose the ego, not from the act of giving or withholding a hand-out. Likewise, choosing the Holy Spirit brings peace whether you give or not.

This is from the answer to question 1034 in the fabulous FACIM Outreach service. With the Course itself, with this service, and with The Disappearance Of The Universe, you have everything you need for your way out!

By the way, in case this invaluable web site should ever disappeare, a massive (5.5MB) PDF file has been made of the whole thing to secure the knowledge for the ages!
(The lines are long in the PDF. A good way to read it is with a reader which can re-flow the lines, such as GoodReader on the iPad.) (iPad is anyway a great way to read the Course and D.U. too. See my eReader site.)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Temple of the mind

Every man is the builder of a temple called his body.
           -- Henry David Thoreau

I think the Temple of the Mind is more important. And when you have built a really good one, you open it at the top to connect to the Temple Above. And you open it more and more as you learn. In the end, the temples are One.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Observing the ego

I told a friend of mine, Anna, how my ego fights against me wanting to give my customers more value for their money. It wants me to squeeze every resource/purchase to the utmost, even to the point where it might dilute the quality of the products I deliver.
My friend is educated in psychology and anthropology, so it amazed me when I saw how close her methodology of personal growth is to the one I have arrived at from non-dualistic studies.
She wrote:

Yeah, I think I know what you mean. :)
I cannot say this never happens to me.

Actually I can see this from two points of view. One is the Ego, greed, etc.

But nowadays I am also more and more in the cognitive science point of view, with the concept of modularity. It is now a widely accepted knowledge that there are a lot of subprograms running in the brain, some quite specific, the modules. The modules in their functioning are not much influenced by my will, at least quit not as much as we think they should, us being conscious beings.

If I am sitting in a silent waiting room, and two people are discussing, I basically cannot prevent myself listening to and understanding what they are saying. If I am shown a face I know, I cannot prevent myself recognizing the person. Some subprograms can be created. Driving a car becomes a subprogram after a certain amount of practice, a big part of it is done without conscious supervision.

I think this "you have to squeeze the most out of it" is also a subprogram. I think not very sophisticated. It can work in a very stupid way. I remember I have spent some time calculating if I should buy 1 parisian metro ticket or 10, knowing that if I buy 10, it costs less / ticket, but I may not find the tickets when I need them, because now I quite seldom go to Paris. I did seriously think about it, and that involves only about 2 euros. And in contrast I forgot to take the steps to get some money back for my airplane ticket to the field, 200 euros. That is quite stupid and irrational, but these subprograms are usually specific and rigid.

Knowing all this, and having had a lot of opportunity of observing an interesting sample of homo sapiens (myself), and some other interesting samples too, I now see this in this way:
- I don't need to feel guily of doing of thinking stupid things, because this is how my brain architecture works
- I do have a control on the output of those subprograms. If I consciously don't care about some, those subprograms will work less, present their output in a less loud way. So in this indirect way I do have control on the subprograms themselves. I think they shrink.
- I cannot eradicate them. Just acknowledge them, not give them too much importance, but not denying them either.
- And I think that Consciousness may grow somehow independent from those subprograms and make choices about what is important.

So this is the motto I have these days. "This is not me. It is my subprogram." :)

It is clear to me that she is doing exactly what I am doing, having learned from A Course In Miracles and Ken Wapnick to observe the ego, and not be upset, and not do anything about it. This will make it lose power over time.
Because the Ego can't observe itself. It can't observe anything, it is totally reactive. Only the HS (Higher Self or Holy Spirit) can observe, so perforce if you are observing, you are looking from the HS's viewpoint.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Games and Prejudice

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
           -- H. L. Mencken

Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box.
           -- Italian Proverb

Saturday, September 18, 2010


As I began to doubt the World, a natural consequence was a growing inability to hold on to viewpoints, opinions, beliefs. Because we live in an ego world, high certainty is seen as a strength, so it took me years before I realized this was a good thing, not a bad thing.

But in order to get past The Dream, you literally have to ditch everything you believe in eventually, including every singly thing taught in school or by science, so you might as well get cracking.       :-)

Friday, September 17, 2010

45 lessons

Here is a wonderful article about how to live a forgiving life.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

"The Disappearance Of The Universe "

I have sort of assumed that people reading this blog already know and love Gary Renard's book The Disappearance Of The Universe. But well, some are bound not to. So just a brief plug: The Disappearance Of The Universe is a supremely important (but surprisingly entertaining) book, which took the gears of my spiritual progress up at least two notches. I regard it as the single clearest book I have read about how the mind and the Universe really works. (Preview.)

There is a nice (though abridged) audiobook version.
You can also get it in ebook (Kindle) edition, just like the Course itself, which is wonderful.
If you're interested in ebook reading and devices, I have just started a blog about it: eReader Joy.

By the way, if you can't afford the book, contact Gary Renard (or me), he has a scholarship program which I have donated to before. Tell him I sent you.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Zero- or total tolerance

I think there are two basic attitudes in undoing the ego. Maybe they are different stages, I don't know.

One is zero-tolerance of ego.

The other is total tolerance of ego.

Very oddly, I suspect they both work well.

Monday, August 30, 2010

There is order looking right at you

I was just settling in to watch a good movie, it seemed better than expected.
And it did not seem to be all that related to the movie, I’m actually not sure, but I just suddenly felt relaxed and had the feeling that:

“It’s all right.”

It felt profound.

To dot the i, I watched five more seconds, and the main character comes on, and the first line out of his mouth is: “You know, just when you think there is no order anywhere,  there is order looking right at you.”

One of my old theories about art/aesthetics, is that art is a higher, um, order of order. Things organized in harmony, which shows we can think in oneness.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Is it too hard to do?

I have learned during this lifetime, that yes, sometimes the right thing to do is hard. But often, if it is very, very hard to do, it's just not the right thing to do, at least for now. 

It could be your Higher Self trying to block you from making a mistake, for reasons you can't see or understand.

Adyashanti tells a story which is a good example. As a young man, he was into bicycle racing, and was very good at it, and he was very competitive.
But then he got dramatically sick, for months, and couldn't do it.
When he got well, he just biked for fun. But then he got better yet, and soon he was into full competitive racing again.
And: he got dramatically sick once more.
This time he got the message.

We often can't see or understand the whole picture, but our Higher Self can. And while its messages are often subtle, sometimes they are not!
So, don't give up easily, but think twice if something just seems way too hard. If it's the right thing for you at that time, it should not be that hard.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Message from Carol

Straight over to my friend Carol Howe:

Hello, everyone,

It's been a long time since I've touched base and want to wish you all well as we travel through these very intense times.  So many are commenting on their experience of time decreasing and demands upon that time increasing - a circumstance that calls for our using the spiritual practice of choice to maintain peace of mind and a clear, non-judgmental head! To that end, I want to remind you about Bill Thetford's biography, Never Forget To Laugh, since its purpose is to foster hope, good will, and peace of mind.

The website  contains much information of interest - articles about Bill, reviews of the book, many testimonials, three sections to read free, and other stories about Bill not included in his biography.  Several more segments of this extra material will be added in the next few months.  Please feel free to avail yourselves of this opportunity to find out how A Course In Miracles led Bill to an awakened state and offers assurance that we can follow him.

Never Forget To Laugh will soon be available on the Amazon Kindle and other ebook readers.  Stay tuned!

With kind regards,

Monday, August 9, 2010

Eye of the Beholder

"People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves."
           -- Salma Hayek

By the way, "Eye Of The Beholder" was the title of a horror comic story I read when I was very young (I had a period where I was a big fan of horror comics). It was about a young man whose young, beautiful wife died. And he went to a magician to ask to get her back somehow. And the magician fulfilled his wish, while reminding him that he could only do so much.

The Bride turns up at his door, beautiful as ever, and they are both tearfully happy about the reunion. But things are wrong, animals freak out around her and so on. Near the ending, he hugs her to comfort her.
But then as he is hugging her, he sees the reflection of them both in the mirror. The mirror is not fooled, he can now see that he is hugging a months-old rotting corpse.

Nice reading for kids.       :-)
But I think that horror stories have the important mission of, with aesthetics to sweeten the medicine, showing us the real face of this unreal life.

Sunday, August 8, 2010


"Cause and effect are one thing. And what is that one thing? You. That’s why what you do and what happens to you are the same thing."
- Zen teacher John Daido Loori

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Theory of art expanded

Theory of art expanded:

Art has two major attractions: the connection to the Higher Self (and through it to Source), and the more superficial beauty qualities (prettiness). The latter determines largely the commercial viability, the former, the spiritual viability.

The distaste some have for (some) "pop" art is when the latter qualities overwhelm the former. It will seem attractive but meaningless. Sugary, junk food.

The reverse can be true, in which case you may have an artist who is very strongly appreciated but only by very few people, and many are turned away by the lack of prettiness.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Julie sez it

"In the past few months there have been several times when I was overcome by a happiness so intense that I literally felt that it might be more than I could bear. I've never known any happiness that could compare with this and I don't see how any happiness could. It feels like it could kill me and I wouldn't care if it did. I see now, Jed, what you *didn't* say in your book and I see why you didn't. There's a reality to this that you didn't go into and now that I know it, I know why. There's the place where all the paradoxes disappear and where no questions remain, but there's no point in trying to describe this place. You gave the one perfect answer to all the seemingly unanswerable questions: Come see for yourself. I'm here now. I see it now. It was right there all the time. It looks like the price of truth is everything, but it's not. How could I not have known? The price of truth is nothing."

- Julie in Jed McKenna's book Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment, pages 279-280

I am happy that this little passage made it into Jed McKenna's second book. Because I think actually while McKenna's books are unique and excellent, they can be so depressing because (unlike The Disappearance Of The Universe) they might give the overall impression that the long and hard journey is *not worth it*. It's pretty much only in Julie's (rare) real life story of awakening that we see in the end that it *is* worth it, that there *is* some place to go to, that the goal is not Nothing.
In the end of the book we also meet Julie (meeting Jed) after she is done, and it is beautiful to see how much is has affected her, unlike the seemingly jaded Jed. (Joyful Julie and Jaded Jed.)

Monday, July 26, 2010

The End

"Thanks to a pesky fly, the person dreaming our lives just woke up."

- TenSecondTales

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Longest Journey

The longest journey is the journey inward.
-- Dag Hammarskjold

Monday, July 12, 2010

See Bill run. Run, Bill, run!

From the book Never Forget To Laugh, about A Course In Miracles scribe Bill Thetford, page 246. During a spiritual event, somebody:
"... suggested that they each hugged the person next to them. Bill tried to run..."

Funny. It's good for me to hear that Bill had as little time for "huggy-feeliness" as I do.

I don't care for enforced lovingness (note the "enforced" part there). Near thirty years ago, I visited a group of artists/spiritualists. I showed them some photos, including this one of my mom.

One of the women was exactly the tie-dye, huggy-feely kinda person... She looked at it and said: "She looks rather displeased, doesn't she". You know, in the spirit of: "why look so sour, the world would be so much nicer if everybody would be happy, or at least take care to look it".
Later this woman played guitar and sang one of her own songs. She looked me deep in the eyes while singing stuff like "congratulations to you, because you are you"...

A genuinely happy person does not need to "sell" happiness, and he/she has no investment in whether others are happy or not.

I think the basic idea is similar to "The Secret" the movie: if you take care to think only nice thoughts, your life will become nice. It won't happen. In fact, I think this attitude may block you for a long time from facing the horrendousness of the Thought Line which underlies  this world. As Jed McKenna points out: you have to somehow go through the natural depression that comes from seeing this ugly truth, before you can arrive at the other side to see that it was not actually truth, in fact it does not exist at all, thus it can't affect you.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Do you want a perfect world?

Most responsible people want a better world, preferably a perfect world. But I think this is a misconception, at least after we learn that the world is just made up by our collective Mind, and that it's an outer reflection of an inner condition. If the world was perfect, we wouldn't want change, and we would stay asleep forever.

There's a classic Superman story by Alan Moore. A telepathic alien plant has taken over Superman's body and put him in a deep coma. The plant generates a beautiful dream where his home planet never blew up, and he has a perfect life.

But his inner soul knows  there's something wrong, and the dream world starts cracking in the corners. As things go more and more wrong, he gets more and more uncomfortable, and finally makes his way out of the dream world and out of his coma.

Sounds familiar?

Sunday, July 4, 2010

A lot of work...

Sometimes I have watched a very good English TV program called Grand Designs, about people, usually couples, who are building an unusual home in some way. Sometimes these people have ambitions waaaay beyond their bank account, so they do most of the actual labor themselves, like renovating a huge building which is really just a rotten shell, and through 18 months of back-breaking labor in all their free hours, they make it into a beautiful home. (And often spectacularly designed too.)

Which is all cool and so on. But I've been thinking "my god, what a lot of work, I couldn't do that". But now I just realized: that work is nothing compared to the work of Waking Up. The mental sweat and effort I have put into it in the past ten years alone feels like building a city.

The thing of course is that a house only lasts a few hundred years at best. When you're awake, it's an accomplishment literally for eternity. (Not to mention is real.)

Saturday, July 3, 2010

All is good

I was watching the so far very interesting United States of Tara, and saw a picture of a typical MySpace page, you know, loud, colorful, confusing. And I just changed viewpoint and saw that from say, a teenager's viewpoint the kinds of communications and web pages that *I* prefer might just be boring. Dusty. Dry.

And for some reason I connected this with my dominating viewpoint for god knows how long, that this universe is a Horrific, Painful Trap.
I've been aware for a while that upon Enlightenment, one might change viewpoint on this and see the universe as a "big happy puppy just eager to please you" as Jed McKenna puts it. But... it had never really come across to me that this invalidated my other viewpoint as being real in any way. I just "knew" that  that is what the universe "really" is. False and a mistake, but a very bad and undesirable one.

But I see now that this isn't so at all. It simple "is". Or more precisely, it isn't. And so any idea and emotion you can have about it is as valid as any other.

Monday, June 28, 2010


I was unsure of my next step, so, unusually, I held out my hand and took that of my Higher Guide, and asked what to do.

He said: "relax."

I said: "and...?"

He said: "relax."

I said: "and...?"

He said: "relax."

I said: "and...?"

He said: "trust."

Thursday, June 17, 2010

What is a goal?

Please read this post on my mainstream blog. Quote:
"Almost inevitably we see, when we have reached a Goal, that we are no happier now. We need another goal. And I think if one can get to a state where one sort of just "follows the flow" or lives intuitively, life works better."

Friday, June 11, 2010

Some place in California

"We are all prisoners here, of our own device."

Outstanding performance.
There's no doubt to me that music is one of our primary connections to Source. It taps into the prison of Time itself and turns it around and uses it as a tool to convey beauty, which is a reflection of Source, and thus helps us on our way out of Time/Space and towards Source.
Another way to say it is that music takes the apparently enforced automaticity of Time and makes it voluntary and pleasant, thus helping us to realize that we are doing it ourselves.

Well, in fact it's my consideration that if you look deeper, this is true of many things in The World (only less specifically about Time), even of Communication itself. 

Sunday, May 30, 2010


"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
            -- Aristotle

I think this is relevant to what we are doing, because while one still seem to have a body in a seeming world, one has to think and act like a human. But the important part is to be able to do it without believing it.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm Happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?.
- Snoopy, Peanuts

Saturday, May 8, 2010


“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes, but in having new eyes”. - Marcel Proust

Monday, April 26, 2010

Meta wakes in the night

This is from a book I wrote years ago, Sugar Domino:


Meta was woken by Miriam moving about in her sleep, and decided to go sleep alone in a small guest chamber nearby. She pulled her blankets after her, and walked into the little room, and threw herself on the bed. The moon was showing its old face at her through the window, and she sent it a friendly thought.

The silence of the night was overwhelming. The usual physical and mental noise had quieted down, and the mind could hear itself think again. She could hear the world think, and the world could hear her think. The earthworms burrowing in the soil were doing a little moonlighting, and the old owl outside was blinking at her.

She felt a touch of something she really didn't believe in, she got up from the bed and went on her forehead and knees on the carpet, she couldn't explain it to herself, it just seemed right.She felt a connection to something... something big, something really, really big, something infinitely kind, and almost, but not quite all-knowing.

She trembled. This felt ridiculous; she was definitely not a religious person.

Still, there it was. And Meta chose to trust her senses, mostly because she also had a sense of happiness, of intense, floating, joyful happiness. And the happiness was not connected to any strings or ties, and it was no delirium, no lies or walls connected to it, she could see everything better than ever, and she understood everything better than ever, and she liked everything better than ever.

Meta meowed quietly to herself and put her hands under her forehead, trying as best she could to reach outwards, to be worthy of this, and to position herself for making something of it in the future. She had no idea what that might be, but she was positive that it could be something great.

Something warm and something beautiful. Something knowledgeable, too.

She was suddenly freezing at the same time she was warmer than ever. She almost withdrew, but then in a flash realized that this was simply the fear of freedom that all creatures had always felt when they had known only entrapment for so long that they had forgotten everything else. The unknown is always the primary fear. But it need not be, the unknown is only unknown until it has been seen.

Meta felt warm again. She sat on the carpet, her back against the wall, and wondered for a while. She had an odd feeling that the future would not be like the past. She looked at the stray clouds idling past the moon and sent them a happy thought also, telling them to say hello where they were going.

(The funny thing is that it's an erotic novel, but these kinds of things kept sneaking themselves into it. - Eolake :-)
(Get it on paper or as ebook.)

Friday, April 23, 2010

Fighting the Devil

A friend of mine said that Satan would want us all to be more tolerant so he can have free reign.

Well. What happens if we stop fighting the devil is one of two:

1: he wins.

2: The fight disappears and everybody wins, because the devil was part of us.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

The Flame Within

The Flame Within
There is a flame that burns brightly and deeply hidden within. It is weakening to the outer man and it cripples us for any activity outside of God's will. Every now and then the oil of grace is poured onto this flame and we see suddenly and with great lucidity, the stunning work that had been going on within, and we take courage and renew our total direction to that One Thing from a new rung of gratefulness . But for the most part, and for long long stretches, the work is hidden and weakening to the outer faculties and continuously humbling to ego. Keep going, keep going, keep going! it seems to say, and how incredibly blessed we are if we listen without giving in to doubt. The day is coming when the work will be over, or, by so many proofs, nearing its end, and the joy and lightness of our spirits then is such that all we can do some days is laugh.


Thursday, April 15, 2010


Of course there is no formula for success except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings.
-- Arthur Rubinstein

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Where we go

We go where our vision is.
-- Joseph Murphy

Saturday, April 10, 2010


Seeing ourselves as others see us would probably confirm our worst suspicions about them.
-- Franklin P. Adams

Friday, April 9, 2010

What we could become

The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
-- Charles Du Bos

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Like a young Marilyn Monroe

I just thought of a girl I knew superficially 25 years ago. More like 27. She was extremely pretty. Like a young Marilyn Monroe.
She was not particularly smart or particularly pleasant. But even so, just her beauty still makes me feel a deep, intense longing even at the thought of it 27 years later.
This tells me 1) how deep our longing for Source is. And 2) how intense our fear must be, to redirect that longing to something so small and so temporary and superficial. (Not to mention imaginary).

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


"To let go of fear or trauma, we need to acknowledge just how it is. We need to feel it fully and accept that it is so. It is as it is. Letting go begins with letting be."
- Jack Kornfield

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Nehru and peace

Peace is not a relationship of nations. It is a condition of mind brought about by a serenity of soul. Peace is not merely the absence of war. It is also a state of mind. Lasting peace can come only to peaceful people.
-- Jawaharlal Nehru

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Stomaching it

The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.
-- Flannery O'Connor

Indeed. And the odd thing is that a Wonderful truth is not necessarily easier to stomach than an Awful one.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Seeking, Revisited

Seeking, Revisited, excellent article by my friend Marianne.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Bill book site

Carol Howe has made a web site for her book about Bill Thetford, A Course In Miracles scribe. I like the book.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Tao ("dow")

-- Tao Te Ching: Chapter 47

Without going out the door, one can see the whole world.

Without looking out the window, one can see the way of Tao.

The further one goes,
the less one knows.

Therefore the sage
knows without going
Understands without looking
and accomplishes without taking action.

Friday, February 12, 2010


Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
-- Nelson Mandela

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Purposes, ego and HS

I'm working on a new ebook, and to my new awareness it feels very much like an ego purpose, meaning that it feels like a commercial venture, meaning that I have much attention on how big a success it might become.

BUT: I had and have still the same feeling with my girlie-site (, art nudes). Though it was/is indeed heart-felt, it was never as MUCH heart-felt as my personal art. And despite that, to my surprise, it has touched people's heart in much, much deeper ways than I had ever imagined. In other words, a HS purpose may be packed in an ego purpose. (And vice versa, I'm sure.)

Sunday, February 7, 2010


We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.
-- Marcel Proust

Of one thing I am certain, the body is not the measure of healing - peace is the measure.
-- George Melton

Saturday, February 6, 2010

War in the world

If one wonders why there's still war in the world despite our so-called civilization, one might take a look at the super-popularity (top best-seller) of the super-realistic video game Modern Warfare. Despite what we like to think, the ego just loves killin'.

Illustro said:
...currently there's no correlation between violent video games and real-world violence. For many its catharsis.
I would also like to point out that a lot of extremely violent games-not all of them, just many-center on the horrors depicted in their world. The Fallout series, for example. There are many cringe-worthy moments within those games. It works as escapism because of how far removed it is from present circumstances but if you ever wanted to convince me dropping an atom bomb was a bad idea you'd need only show me those games.

eolake said...
I agree. I've long thought that violent entertainment, far from causing violence, is a safe outlet as well as way of observing the ego.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Childhood is fearful

I just realized how much I want the food I eat to be like what I've always eaten. The reason obviously is that stability calms fear.
So I realized: when we're children, the ego is coming back from having been almost dissolved between-lives, and everything is forgotten, and we have to learn, and try, everything from new!
Small wonder we block out our childhood, it must be absolutely terrifying.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Clearing and Igniting

(A friend wrote this.)

First the ground is cleared -- the primarily negative work is done. Itis during this period that the great depressions swoop down, the financial difficulties, sometimes losses after losses. It is during this time so often we felt we were going off the deep end -- a time of intense emotional states, depression, anger, rage, jealousies, anxieties and doubt. It is also during this time we sought every possible remedy to heal what we felt was sick. If there were surface healings, still the deep disjunct, the central dislocation remained, and no expert we found even touched the depth of pain we couldn't accept.

All during this most difficult period ground was being cleared. If our practice was inquiry, we found ourselves increasingly aware of every painful thought. If our practice was more service oriented, we found ourselves helping others until we came to exhaustion. If our practice was art we reached the pinnacle of our abiities, and found it was somehow not enough. The brush of self was being burned, cleared, through the suffering that we at first hated.

At a certain point, begun to be known, perhaps by extreme exhaustion, perhaps by what felt like a death and burial of our old self and world, but characterized by a strange lifeless rest, an intitiative not of our self comes like a single spark. We can't believe it but something or someone or some place begins waking us up in a powerful unity and love, and it has nothing anymore to do with our efforts. Like the wind lifts up a sail, we find ourselves getting up again. But something is very very different now.

This divine initiative, this spark, comes under different aspects to different beings --- under the auspices of varying symbols; the symbol of a Person or personal Love or devotion (perhaps Christ to the Christian tending), or the symbol of a place like home, or a distant city or pure country, or "Pathways Through to Space" (to those of a journeying, exploring tendency), or the symbol of something more abstract, a geometric perfection or image (to those of a scientific or more abstract mind.) But this "initiative" cannot be believed (it just is); when It comes, absolutely nothing in the world or in thought will draw us any longer. It powerfully unifies what for so long felt like a stillborn self in pieces all over the ground.

This Initiative is love, ingition that just grows and grows, a powerful uniting, an increasintly mirror-like clarity, the sound of Home that is humming beneath every moment, Warmth even without persons around, joy that steals over your face and people wonder about you, complete Safety, and permanent falling back into unquestioned provision, and it includes all of existence and no-existence in its presence. I'm aware of how lame these words are to try and describe it, but I can't seem to help wanting to try. It feels like little sqawks of a bird that has seen something and can't help but try and sing.



Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.
-- Henry David Thoreau

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

From Twain

"Strange! that you should not have suspected years ago - centuries, ages, eons, ago! - for you have existed, companionless, through all the eternities.
Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane - like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one..."

From the ending of Mark Twain's story The Mysterious Stranger.

A tiny bit of it is used here:


It's a blessing to accept a gift, and a blessing to give one.

A forgiving woman

Toward the end of Sunday service, the minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" About 80% of the church goers held up their hands.

The Minister then asked, "How many of you would be willing to forgive your enemies?" All responded this time, except one small old lady.

"Mrs. Neely? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" the minister asked.

"I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual," the minister commented. "How old are you?"

"I'm ninety-eight," she replied. The congregation stood up and applauded.

The minister said, "Please come down here and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have a single enemy in the world."

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived all the sons of $%#&@es!"

A forgiveness thought

I've found that an easy way to convey a forgiving mindset is to say:

"We're all the same, really."

People understand it and agree with it.

And it's also a good thing to remember for myself when I'm unforgiving.

It's true on the literal level (there's only one mind and one ego), and the human level (not one of us has never had violent or greedy or selfish or lustful thoughts).

Monday, January 11, 2010

We all are stories

Who you are moment to moment is just a story.
-- Chuck Palahniuk

Friday, January 8, 2010

His job

"God will forgive me. It's his job."
- Heinrich Heine (1797-1856)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

On Course with Gene Bogart

On Course with Gene Bogart, an A Course In Miracles group. It's new, but I like Gene and have a good feeling about this, so I have made a donation to the group, to allow more financially-strapped people to join for free.

Update: seems the group has moved to a more logical address.

I recommend the group. I couldn't imagine anybody else doing a better job with readng the lessons of A Course In Miracles than Gene Bogart.