Laurie commented: "We ask too small."
It's a good point. Not long before I really encountered non-duality (in the form of The Disappearance Of The Universe), I was for a while into the whole Manifestation thing (which later hit big with The Secret). But I was already losing my interest in earthly manifestations like the trappings of success etc. So in the end, the only thing I really put my wish-force behind was wanting stronger communication with Everything.
Everything and everybody in the universe. But when it comes down to it, what's "everything" except Source, or God? So my rewards in that direction have gone into hyperdrive since then.
Full disclosure demands that I reveal that this does not necessarily mean an easier life, at least not for a while. To speed up spiritual contact also means to speed up the shedding and shredding of old, hard-packed energies full of beliefs and fear and anger and such. And this process can be highly stressful. But I do believe that there's an end to anything, except Truth.
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About spirituality and coming home to Source. By Eolake Stobblehouse, studying multiple branches of spirituality for 30+ years.
"Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God”
- A Course In Miracles
About Me
- Eolake Stobblehouse
- Born in Denmark, living currently in England. I write about creativity and communication and technology which supports those. And about spirituality/metaphysics.
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32 comments:
Eolake said...
"the only thing I really put my wish-force behind was wanting stronger communication with Everything.
Everything and everybody in the universe."
That's beautiful, Eo... :-)
"But when it comes down to it, what's "everything" except Source, or God?"
Good point. And...it ALL comes right back around to: God is LOVE! Pure; simple; nothing else to attain. :-D
"So my rewards in that direction have gone into hyperdrive since then."
Cool! "Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full" John 16:23." is another verse that I love so much. I found this wonderful link reminding of just that: look at what God Promises us, when we just ASK HIM! It's AMAZING! :-D
Eo, well said. It cheered me. Onward!
TC[Girl]: From one born-again to another, Praise the Lord! When I became born-again, the mystery of God deepened immeasurably. I went through a period of flat-out witnessing, broke through all fear. Then He led me to the silence within
(Be still and Know that I am God) where a yet deeper sacrifice was occurring. It was my choice to join in with that or not, and I chose Yes. I hear your witness, TC, may you be blessed infinitely from the High Place of His Home. But I hear too, much emotion, and He wants to quiet that. Send that emotion to the altar, bit by bit or in huge hunks. Let it burn. See the quietness behind it, and let that Peace be His voice speaking through you. Believe you me, I am on the same path.
sending you both love,
Laurie
Since the topic here is "Asking Big" let me at least share an experience I had at age 23, an experience which came out of tremendous darkness and inner stress. I was living in a Zen Buddhist monastery, doing a 3 month retreat. It was all in silence, and on the retreat I was saying a Korean Buddhist mantra over and over and over. Talk about brainwashing! But no, the mercy of God is greater than all outer conditioning or inner resistance combined.
I was sitting full lotus style, very painful, in meditation, asking the question (through the mantra) What is the purest love of all? I felt so far from an experience of love, so alone. I was from an alcoholic family, was deeply prone to depression, and felt very isolated in the universe, and separate from anything I could call God.
In the middle of this meditation one night, a vision came to me of Jesus' face on the Cross. And with it, such a torrent love, it totally blew me away. It was like being bathed in light, or love, or warmth, and the Face was in my deepest center, and I recognized that Face as my oldest friend. Or teacher. Or brother, I didn't know which. I loved him, I remembered him. A voice spoke to me from within, with a wisdom I had never heard before (I believe it was the Holy Spirit.) It spoke to me of God, love, of Christ, of Jesus, of what my life was to consist of, what kind of work etc. It also spoke about what God was doing in the suffering. It was not all for nothing! The voice was sheer, total wisdom and love. I couldn't believe it came to ME.
I had never said "Lord" before in all my life, but at that vision, it's as if my entire inner being went down on its knees in spite of itself, and I said, "Lord, what can I do?" Also, before that time I had never said "Father" before, and suddenly, without knowing why, God became my father.
About a year later I actually gave my life to Jesus (Yes, as my Lord and Savior, but I usually don't tell many people that, unless the H.S. causes me to), and it has been a long journey of deeper and deeper listening in the H.S. Listening and trying to follow.
I have not come far at all. In fact, I feel lately like an absolute beginner at this "listening and following." But the more deeply I accept my weakness and impossibility of taking one step toward heaven, the more peace I feel. It's HIS doing. And He knows what He's doing. That's joy enough for me.
Laurie
Thank you both.
Laurie, that's amazing.
--
My own first "big light" experience lasted only like a millionth of a second, and was shut down by fear so fast that for years I had no idea what had happened, only that something important had changed, like if all the atoms in the universe had changed at once.
the Light is amazing, isn't it?
Filled with total knowledge of all the Universes and total Love. Source of ALL CONNECTION.
that millionth of a second, still, changed your life.
That is amazing, and so hard to describe or explain. Still, intuitively one Light-victim knows another!
Thank you for bearing my witness. I know this site is not geared to specifically Christian testimony, so thank you for being open to all expressions of that Light. And love to TC who knows the secret of
1 Cor: 1:21. Thank you.
L.
love
Laurie
"That is amazing, and so hard to describe or explain."
Even to oneself. For many years, I told them in scientology that one of my goals was to find out what exactly happened to me that day.
It was further complicated (and this I don't hear often) by the great fear and pain which came in the wake, so close it got totally entangled with the Light experience.
I feel I'm getting close to wearing that down, but it's taken 25 years.
re. the experience of pain associated with the Light:
almost immediately after my experience of Christ (and inner conversion) my whole being became as if an old, old woman. Within weeks, I experienced a near total loss of all vitality, all personal energy. Something was zapped bigtime by that Light/Love. This is not what everybody experiences, but for me,
it had only just begun . . . . I knew that the old me simply had to die, and was dying, for Christ.
And this factual "dying" could in no way be sentimentalized.
L.
"And this factual "dying" could in no way be sentimentalized."
Hah, no kidding, that'd be like sentimentalizing a school bus crash.
hell yeah.
L.
Laurie said...
"But I hear too, much emotion, and He wants to quiet that."
Not sure about that. I believe God gave us emotion for a reason; to FEEL - a very important sensory - for one. Even Jesus showed emotion: anger and He cried; therefore, if it is "good enough" for my Father, then it is "good enough" for me. It is not something that I will deny...but embrace for I know that He has blessed me w/a very tender heart and I am not ashamed of this.
Laurie said...
"I was living in a Zen Buddhist monastery, doing a 3 month retreat."
Interesting.
"It was all in silence,"
I read of same in 'Eat, Pray, Love' and thought that would be quite an interesting exercise. I hope to try doing same, someday.
"...and on the retreat I was saying a Korean Buddhist mantra over and over and over. Talk about brainwashing!"
Thank you! I have, often, thought of it being that! I look at those little boys who become Monks and am SO SAD for them; their childhoods taken away from them!
I did, same, for a short time, when I was a kid. Sadly, I was the one who, somehow, got my mom into TM and...all of a sudden, I was given a mantra (I can STILL remember it but I REFUSE to say it, ever again!) and...was "sequestered" to my room for about an hour, every day, while my mom went in to meditate and wanted me to do same. Well...I was in there but I sure wasn't doing that nonsense! It didn't feel right from get-go! :-( Thankfully, my family was healed from this period of "confusion."
"But no, the mercy of God is greater than all outer conditioning or inner resistance combined."
Yes! WONDERFUL, isn't it?! :-D He can keep us "sane" through the most horrendous/heinous things that any cruel human being could ever throw at us! Praise God for that! :-D
"I was sitting full lotus style, very painful, in meditation, asking the question (through the mantra) What is the purest love of all? I felt so far from an experience of love, so alone."
I'm very sorry that you had to go through that. Been there; doing that, right now, myself, in the Earthly capacity, anyway. :-(
"I was from an alcoholic family, was deeply prone to depression, and felt very isolated in the universe, and separate from anything I could call God."
I'm very sorry about that, Laurie.
"In the middle of this meditation one night, a vision came to me of Jesus' face on the Cross. And with it, such a torrent love, it totally blew me away. It was like being bathed in light, or love, or warmth, and the Face was in my deepest center, and I recognized that Face as my oldest friend. Or teacher. Or brother, I didn't know which. I loved him, I remembered him. A voice spoke to me from within, with a wisdom I had never heard before (I believe it was the Holy Spirit.) It spoke to me of God, love, of Christ, of Jesus, of what my life was to consist of, what kind of work etc. It also spoke about what God was doing in the suffering. It was not all for nothing!"
Yes...that is the difficult thing to understand, sometimes. :-(
"The voice was sheer, total wisdom and love. I couldn't believe it came to ME.
VERY COOL, though! :-D
cont'd.
Laurie said... (cont'd)
"I had never said "Lord" before in all my life, but at that vision, it's as if my entire inner being went down on its knees in spite of itself, and I said, "Lord, what can I do?" Also, before that time I had never said "Father" before, and suddenly, without knowing why, God became my father."
Awesome! :-D
"About a year later I actually gave my life to Jesus (Yes, as my Lord and Savior, but I usually don't tell many people that, unless the H.S. causes me to),"
I "get" that, Laurie: satan just HATES when we do that! He wants to keep us DOWN and...people can be very cruel, when they discover that a person is...a 'Christian.' Sadly, anymore, I have decided to just call myself a 'Believer' because calling myself a 'Christian' calls out ALL the 'Legalists' and judgement from others! I just HATE it!
"...and it has been a long journey of deeper and deeper listening in the H.S. Listening and trying to follow.
I have not come far at all. In fact, I feel lately like an absolute beginner at this "listening and following."
Yes. I understand that one, myself.
"But the more deeply I accept my weakness and impossibility of taking one step toward heaven, the more peace I feel. It's HIS doing. And He knows what He's doing. That's joy enough for me."
AMEN, Sister! :-D
unregenerated emotion I am talking of. The affective system still attempting to live on its own. Believe me, it's I i'm talking about too. In the cave I called myself a "Pisces" a Type 4 on the Enneagram,
totally given to the giftedness of the sensitive feeling realm. I found out where that led, unregenerated.
You know very well, I hear it in your voice, God does not make robots.
When we've lived a long time with him in the fire of his Cross that affective realm gets dealt with, and it ends up His sensitivity within us responding (hopefully) to others, not our mind's movement. Have you ever wondered how the same voice that says to someone, "I love you!" can literally moments later, say, "You need to change!" Love turns to passionate anger in a twinkling.
The "Feeling Ones" have something better coming.
love
Laurie
p.s. awesome to meet a sister
"It was further complicated (and this I don't hear often) by the great fear and pain which came in the wake, so close it got totally entangled with the Light experience."
my response to this is a no doubt a paper lantern, but let me go on record as saying it: What IF that very pain and fear was your answer; What if that very pain and fear was the key, what if was your Love all along.
What if the day came when it disappeared and you missed it.
At that point you saw what it really was.
Don't be surprised by my words!
Stay with it.
love
L.
"The Path of Love
is like a Bridge of Hair
Across a Chasm of Fire."
--- early Christian mystic
Laurie said...
"When I became born-again..."
Funny: when I read this, it made me think of these two vids, that I watched, just the other night. What an incredible testimony! Bawled my eyes out the entire second vid! LOVE this dude and...think about if he hadn't shared his gifts with the world...what a SAD state of affairs we would ALL be in!
beautiful testimony to overcoming of fear.
fear is blocking that total communication with everything
Had a breakthrough this year when I stopped and looked my worst accuser in the face, from within myself, listened to what he was saying. It was a hideous voice from my childhood, but it went back even further, maybe eons.
It took on my mother's voice, or the devils, anyway, it was the Mind Behind The System, and it was condemning. I looked quietly at what it was hurling at me, about me, and was shocked to discover, there was truth in it! I began to quietly agree with it, from the place of my freedom, from the place of Awareness, the place of Christ, God's love. I agreed with my enemy quickly, I totally, totally saw that what I had been running from was the painful truth about myself, and fearful of the repercussions. But accepting it, I was amazed to see that I was still standing, at peace, not running away a jot. I had with calm agreement faced down a horror. I thanked the voice, the accusing voice, and thanked it genuinely. I began to see it (and its message) as my friend, as a helper on my path. For real. Since then, a deep root of fear (of running away) is no longer there. Fear still pops us from deep within, but it is weakened immeasurably. It's like accepting your death before you die.
"The truth shall set you free."
L.
"Brett" in McKenna's third book had a similar experience with the voice of the father in her head.
"Spiritual Warfare"
ch. 31; The Demon Tamer.
L.
What we call now our enemy (the pain pressing on us most) may reveal itself as our greatest ally in the end. I am convinced of this.
"It is in the quiet crucible
of your personal, private sufferings
That your noblest dreams are born;
And God's greatest gifts are given
In compensation for what you have been through."
Wintley Phipps
"Had a breakthrough this year when I stopped and looked my worst accuser in the face, from within myself, listened to what he was saying."
Outstanding.
I was looking up "Christian Mysticism," yesterday (an "oxymoron" was what came to mind, when I read the term), and found this (wish I knew when this was written!) which came from this ministry.
I also tried to search "mystics" and "mysticism," in the Bible and I find no occurrence of the term.
If either of you ever want to talk w/me about any of this, I hope you know that I am more than willing to do so.
God Bless you both, in 2012.
Love, TC
Than you, and peace to you as well.
Laurie
Thanks, Laurie. :-)
Did you see an ad? I saw one in my email (for "Longchamp"), but it was removed by Blogger as spam, as they usually are, so I didn't see it here...
Absolutely beautiful thought! And incredibly enough, this is exactly what I needed to hear (or read), right at this point in my life (I'm 46), right at this hour (2:38am), to help me turn into that direction, that I have so much longed for. You're absolutely correct about this thought full of universal wisdom. Thank you so much for sharing that. Now I "know" that thanks to you, your blog, and God, I have become aware that I too will be going into hyperdrive. Once again, thank you and God Bless.
Thanks, Alberto.
Update to post:
Full disclosure demands that I reveal that this ("hyperdrive") does not necessarily mean an easier life, at least not for a while. To speed up spiritual contact also means to speed up the shedding and shredding of old, hard-packed energies full of beliefs and fear and anger and such. And this can be highly stressful. But I do believe that there's an end to anything, except Truth.
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