A Spear of Light, A Lens Onto the World

Here’s a cautious notation, mostly a “record of research”, since it’s just the latest perception, and far from confirmed. 

I got the perception last night that I finally got a handle on the form and position of the “Big Pain” I have long struggled with, sometimes seeming like a headache, but usually oddly unfocused. It seemed to be a sharp spear going into the middle of my spine, up the back, and hitting the top of my head from inside. 

More meditation on it mutated the view so it seems to be the energy of “god’s light” which is the spear. My role is to be a channel, or seeming more accurately, a “lens” for it, for some reason this is symbolically or somehow going out through me vertically upwards. The entrance through the spine is very much in doubt, maybe there isn’t really an entrance at all, maybe the illusory Personality (Individual Consciousness) is collecting The Light from all around or from Beyond, and focusing it in the World. 

I have been a functioning lens at some times and in some functions, but the reason it’s painful is obviously that I am too blocked by energy, beliefs, ego, all that junk. 

The overall Process is the unblocking of that channel to the lens, like water flowing through a hole (interesting that “hole" is like “whole"), and slowly but inexorably making the hole bigger, until the damn dam is all gone.

I suspect that this process mostly takes place on a much bigger plane, but how this is related to the body and its space I have no clue. 

It seems for some individuals that they have some human life to live after the dam is (practically?) gone, I believe this is to serve as a clearer lens for the light to shine on the rest of the world, for the benefit of still extant illusory individuals. Yeshua* is an obvious example, whereas Bill Thetford seemed to step out the moment he was “clear”. 

But then there’s also evidence that individuals (or “their images” as the Course says) can continue as teachers on a higher plane after the final lifetime. And seemingly much more free of the linearity of Time in that state. 

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*"J" or "Jesus", see The Disappearance Of The Universe and here. 
(Note, I'm not a Christian, but I try to learn from many teachers, and J was clearly a big 'un.)