Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Specialness and special teachings

A fellow spiritual seeker wrote to me:

I had been participating in an online group (MysticalPrinciples), and the "teacher" of that group spoke of a series of tapes that Joel Goldsmith made of a "secret" (closed) series of classes to his inner-circle students back in 1953.
Apparently the transcripts of these "closed" talks were so powerful, to study them (if you could get your hands on them) would lift you up and out of all illusion, the fast track! One woman in England actually typed out the transcripts of these talks, and only a few people were permitted to purchase the book form.

This "teacher" made a series of 20 talks based on these other talks, and charged for them. He insisted that only the most serious students apply, and not to pass on these teachings publicly, not quote from them on other groups etc. So it was HIS tapes for sale that I bought, and began to study.

I began to feel the "specialness" creep in of the whole thing. That only a few could access them, that they were for sale, that we were among the elite so to speak, that within the year we would be finished. Through. Fully into the next dimension of Truth. If we did EXACTLY what the teacher recommended.

God. I was taken. I paid that teacher money for those tapes, and halfway through, seeing clearly my error, threw them in the outdoor trash barrel and started a bonfire.. It was not the tapes themselves that were trash, it was the mind of "special-seeking" in myself, the mind that was duped again, that was trash.

I had felt part of a group, part of a special "thing", a communion of others, I had, temporarily gotten rid of the horrible solitariness, loneliness, I had felt for so long.

I am back to lonely. Solitary. The weight on my chest feels more okay, somehow lighter.

Now I see others making VERY special these tapes, this series of teachings. I no longer post on that, or any site, and realize I have to come upon it honestly, alone. Unspecial. Hard. Not knowing when it ends.



Aileen said...

This is such a great lesson to learn. Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

It is our sincere hope you do not think that you are alone, and that you must journey without companions. Also, please note that just because you may have wandered off the path a little, it hardly makes you trash. At worst it was an error, that you learned from, and it cost you nothing but an illusion, in other words, nothing at all. It has taken us more than a year to learn this, and it bears passing on: Errors are to be corrected, learned from, and then overlooked and forgotten, just as the Father overlooks them, because they never really happened.

Their is nothing wrong at all with wanting to be part of a group, to feel community. Indeed, that is the point, to feel our Oneness with our Self, our Source, and our brothers/sisters. To look on everyone and see that they remain as God created them, just as we remain as God created us: perfect and magnificent beings, lovable and loving, intended only for Joy and Love... to know that, that is community at it's deepest level. But even being able to truly feel it with only a few, or even a single person or creature, will bring you nearer Heaven in a hurry. This is what is called a "holy relationship." Within the space of such a relationship, you look on your brother/sister and see nothing that you lack and would take from them. Instead you see each other as equals, who have come together to learn and to teach, and God blesses such a relationship, for it can be used wholly for His purpose. None of us are meant to go our way alone, nor can we. It is impossible that we be separated from God, our Self, and our fellow creations, but it is possible that we do not feel that connection constantly. You are not alone, for you cannot be.

The last note we will offer you is that you are special. All things, every aspect of creation, including you, are special. That common thread is what makes everything and every person One. We may each have individual talents, but the Universe, and God, could not be complete without You, or without each and every blade of grass. You complete your Father, not in the illusion of body which He knows nothing of, but in Spirit. What could possibly be more special than that holy aspect which is forever a part of you?!

Rejoice today and let your burden go, friend. The time of sorrow has ended. You are not alone and God has not left you comfortless. You are his Child, with Whom he is well pleased.

neeraj said...

For me it was helpful to become aware of the difference between loneliness and aloneness:

"Loneliness means the absence of others,
Aloneness means the presence of yourself ..."

Basically, everybody IS alone (= all and one). In any "spiritual journey" not objective information is needed, but subjective transformation, and for that you have to embrace your aloneness ...

Specialness is something ego wants, but you are much more: You are unique, as every living being (existence creates only originals, never copies). Specialness is a pale echo of this, reflected from the surface of the fear not to be good enough.

Anyway, I don't want to judge this teacher, because I don't know him. If he is a real awakened master, then maybe this is simply a device to create urgency, like a carrot in front of a donkeys nose, so that you are pushing yourself. And a master HAS sometimes to use the rules of the ego in order to enable you transcending it, like pulling out a thorn using another thorn ...

There are not many real masters, but anyway it seems to have worked for you, resulting in your individual response of let-go ...

Thank you for sharing.

Mary Ann said...

this is a very old blog of yours, but I was just looking through. This was good to read, it is so easy for the human to feel is your spiritual journey going now. I enjoy reading the experiences and views of others, but I realize , as lonesome as it can be and difficult, my journey is for me and I am the one who has to walk in my chosen path..