Spiritual or psychological novices may be quite surprised to find that not only is the process a difficult one, but that they paradoxically begin to experience darkness more than light, especially after the initial "honeymoon period" that so frequently occurs. Once again, the Course provides us with descriptions of this seeming paradox of sincerely desiring the light, yet at the same time choosing, if not embracing the darkness:
"The more you approach the center of His [God] thought system, the clearer the light becomes. The closer you come to the foundation of the ego's thought system, the darker and more obscure becomes the way" (T-11.In.3:4-5).
[Later]
It should go without saying that the pain inherent in undoing the special relationship is not the Will of God, or the "plan" of the Holy Spirit. Rather, it is the certain consequence of our resistance to accepting the truth about ourselves.
Again found here.
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