Monday, March 12, 2012


And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
           -- Anaïs Nin


I feel this nails it. 
Unfolding and softening is a long and painful process, but at some point it just become preferable. It does take time though, so we should not be impatient with ourselves or each other. 


TC [Girl] said...

Beautiful and true. Thanks for sharing this. Nice. :-)

Ricky said...

Well...often as we walk through this life, we look around, and find things that are statements of our "beingness", and as usual, I find that I can compare this statement with what I am going through in this "walk". "Blossoming" is painful, because it is full of "fear" of the unknown...and as all who have even the smallest amount of "enlightenment" know..."Fear" is the greatest enemy of our "blossoming" as we walk through life.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Can't argue with that.
And fear is much deeper and more solid than we know. (Cuz if we knew, it'd probably paralyse us.)

Anonymous said...

I realized something tonight.
Take it slowly....and digest what I am saying

and the truth will set you free...
and the truth will set you free...
and the truth will set you free..

I now understand more truth.

I know now why I can find no joy.

There is no such thing as joy.
That is the simple truth of it all. Joy is nothing more then another chemical based lie that has been perpetuated upon our beingness. The word "joy" is the same as the word "love". It is a word that is attached to the feelings our bodies have when chemicals are released into our bodies based on what function our bodies are going through and which hormone is stimulated to excrete which chemical into our bodies.

Fight or flight....fight or flight...fight or flight.

The truth of the matter is our bodies are born with two programs implanted into our dna:

Procreation and Survival

Probably just one program: Survival

Procreation actually comes under the heading of survival which is obvious when we see how one celled organisms will tend to split into at a faster rates when they are threatened. And the simple obvious fact that two humans will want to copulate like bunnies when they a certain that they are in a life threatening want to get a mans dick hard? Put a gun to his head.

Chemicals and words and association. THAT...IS WHAT WE ARE.

I cannot find joy, because I have eliminated all but the very simplest of things that make my body excrete the chemicals I associate with joy.....My cat and my dog....they make me feel "joy".

They have no hidden agenda, so the chemicals are free to be excreted, because I just let them.

I dont know what is going to happen next. But I think if I eliminate the frustration of seeking for something that does not exist, that is a good thing.

just like death is not a bad thing, but the fear of death is sometimes overwhelming...

joy is nothing..absolutely nothing...but the pursuit of nothing...not knowing that it is nothing...and the great frustration that comes from not being able to find it...can be so so very overwhelming indeed....

I do not know about tomorrow, but tonight, the great waves of emptiness that usually engulf me because of the chemicals that are excreted by my frustration over the lack of finding joy, are not there.... because I know there is no such thing....therefore no frustration...therefore no chemicals...

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Good for you.

L said...

Inside I smiled and said, yep.

linking arms in the Spirit,


laurie said...

Anonymous, this is joyously put, how can I say it. The alertness of consciousness is penetrating all
cherished notions and showing them up to be figments, imaginary.
Notions like "joy" etc. etc.
How bout we add "sadness" too?
I see the mind seeking subjective feeling states and calling that Reality: but those subjective feeling states are nothing but one more empty object to keep the created subject alive. Welcome to Maya!

Thanks for sharing, I got a new way of looking at being bummed out at the lack of joy.


Eolake Stobblehouse said...

I'm sure that there's a lot of truth in this.
But I'm also a little confused. Maybe there's different kinds of "joy"? Because the Course says "there's no difference between love and joy".
And also the Course promises "happiness beyond description" or words to that effect, when you go beyond the ego.

Ricky said...

There is nothing particularly simple about any of it. I understand your confusion Eolake.

Words and subjective feeling states evoke expectation and another change in ones body chemistry.

"Love", "joy", and "sadness" are just words. And they do not exist outside the sates they evoke.

Anonymous said...

existence without expectation

Laurie said...

Yes, and nothing to see,
nothing anymore to look at,
(no thing)
just the seeing.

And what a profound surprise,
it is enough. And it keeps

Ricky said...


Linking arms in spirit to all of you.

I know nothing, but I know that nothingness and all that we have been sharing is a better place.

Anonymously yours,


Laurie said...

ha ha ha, well said
by no one at all named Ricky.

btw, there is an interesting
yahoo group called NondualPhil.
Check it out. Some very wonderful
poetry by a guy named Pete.

Ricky said...

Just so you know Eolake...I am the anonymous writer as well as the one trying to indicate my understanding..

and I dont know shit. I just take it one day at a time like I have been talking about and have some positive support from people that see life from similar points of view....and it is a better way of being then where I have been, but the ego..or the conscious mind.. wants to slip in and take me back every time I turn around, and something as simple as a change in my eating habit, can cause a wave of chemical changes in my body that can so easily take me back to seeking for joy because I am feeling so sad...until..

so far... I realize what is happening, and smack my self in the head and get off the roller coaster of whatever is happening in my body chemistry and see it for what it is. Not always very easy. I should laugh at it in some ways, but it is too much of a challenge right now for me to want to step back and laugh at myself easily.

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

Yeah, that seems to be pretty normal for the dedicated student.

Ricky said...

Is truth also a subjective feeling state?

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

No, so far as I can make out, there is in fact something true, A Reality, on the other side of all the beliefs/dreams.

Ricky said...

One can only hope?

Eolake Stobblehouse said...

No, I think it is obvious it is that way. If *everything* was lies and illusion, obviously there wouldn't even be any awareness to think about it, would there?

Ricky said...

Hence the "nothingness".

The awareness of the lack of awareness.

It can be frustrating to try to consciously be aware of nothing. And I dont mean to be vague or anything but honest, but "truth" is just a word that is a part of our subjective seen from one perspective.

And what we see as "truth" as our lives progress...on certain levels...changes as society changes and accepts different things as part of their reality...and this is reflected in the laws that are passed, and the programming that we receive on such things as television, and the music that is most often listened to.

Ricky said...

These words came from a friend of mine awhile back. I came across it again just now, and I dont always see the path the same way this person sees it, but I like where she is coming from, and I find a lot of peace in taking this look at "truth".


The desire for truth
inherent in us all
can be co-opted
by the ego's desire
for fixing, problem-solving

Our idea of truth
is love and peace
and all things good
so we evaluate
the truth
of something
by the idea
of truth as
love, peace and goodness

No wonder then
that we see problems
everywhere we turn

Ego-mind sees
the "problem"
to be in opposition
to the truth

So it takes
the natural urge
to be in truth
and gets attached
to the ending
of the "problem"

Some "problems"
yield to being
solved this way
for a while
but others
and keep showing up
again and again

When the fixer
or ego-mind
cannot solve
the problem
it gets frustrated
and thinks
its only choice
is to give in
to the problem
yet again

Lost in this insistence
on solving problems
we forget
the original desire
for truth

It is possible
to be in truth
without needing
to be rid of illusion

It is possible
to be in truth
without attaching
to the end of problems

Every repetition
of a stubborn problem
is simply
another chance
to recognize
the truth
that needs nothing
to end
and nothing to stay
in order
to be itself

The truth is not
out there
in outward appearances
but in here
in what is looking

Give up
expecting things
and people
and situations
to change

(We know already
the hopelessness
of that
expectation :) )

Recognize that
any and every desire
is born of the one desire
for truth

Give up
expecting even yourself
to change
for what you think
needs changing
is not you
in the first place

Recognize instead
that which is
completely empty
independent, changeless
everpresent, indestructible
in yourself
in every person
in every situation
and everything

The undisguised
urge for truth
wants only this:
to return
to itself
without agenda

The undisguised
urge for truth
wants only this:
to see itself
in each thing
Pure shining presence
in every imaginable
and unimaginable

Ameeta Kaulot