I've written about addictions before. I think it's a very important aspect of life to understand if one wants to rise above the traps.
An addiction occurs as a distraction from pain. Which at its deepest level always the pain of the imagined separation from Source (god). That pain is very great, which is why addictions are so powerful.
Addictions are not only drugs, they can be anything. Work, exercise, "love", sex, sports, prestige, wealth, anything that can take attention.
I've managed to stay clear of the most destructive ones, like drugs. But I still have some: coffee, sugar. Thinking. Entertainment. Pretty women. It's especially in the last one that I really notice the power of addiction. The attraction, the pull, of a beautiful woman is so astoundingly powerful it beggars belief.
It's a bit of a special case though. It is my belief that while sex in itself is pretty much just a drug, the abstract part of the Beauty of Woman is one of those things which connect us with god. Which is why it can be so powerful and so painful. It actually helps undo the Ego. I once had the perception that this design was deliberately created to help counter the introversive effect of sex, and offer a way out.
Showing posts for query addiction. Show all posts
Showing posts for query addiction. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Relationship addiction
I was watching the wonderful show Dharma And Greg, an episode where Greg is going away for the first time since they got married. And Dharma freaks out, she really doesn't want him to go, and when she's alone in the double bed, she gets the dogs to get into it to fill the empty space.
And it hit me: having to have a relationship is just another addiction. It's comfort. Distracts from the pain/Guilt.
And it hit me: having to have a relationship is just another addiction. It's comfort. Distracts from the pain/Guilt.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
The pain under addiction
Carol Howe's book Healing the Hurt Behind Addictions and Compulsive Behaviors taught me a lot about addiction and pain.
One of the ways you can see an addiction is something which can keep your attention. Or something which makes you feel better for a little while.
How do you heal the pain? Wow, big question. There are many, many methods. Hypnosis, EFT, emotrance, therapy, meditation, etc etc. Of course if you want to get at the bedrock pain underlying all the smaller specific problems, I recommend "quantum forgiveness", as outlined by A Course In Miracles and The Disappearance Of The Universe.
* This of course was the question that Douglas Adams was seeking the answer to in the book of that name.
Marian added something in Comments I had actually intended to include in this post:
"An interesting thing about pain is how often it can be healed by the "not-doing" of refusing the tendency towards aversion (which is another way of saying forgiveness but might be an easier way to understand that forgiveness is not a doing of anything).
In other words if you are willing to shine the light of awareness on the pain, it is seen as dissolving. So you volunteer to suffer for a brief interval while watching the pain dissolve. And then you can see that what actually created the psychological hurt wasn't the pain itself but the aversion reaction.
The mind that wants you to run from the pain, IS the pain.
Shining the light of awareness on the pain, by the way, doesn't mean trying to figure out why the pain happened, or getting involved in finding the "cause" of the pain through mental analysis. Those tendencies are also aversion reactions...
What I'm talking about is just being with it, just sitting in it and feeling the essence of it and watching what happens without thought or judgment about the process."
Indeed. Like the Course says, what allows the pain or the Ego to persist is that we don't look at it. I find that as I have advanced, I have gotten able to see Pain or Fear or Guilt directly as abstract "blobs", and just relax with them, look at them, or even reach out and "touch" them in my mind, and they will gradually melt away. Sometimes it takes some determination and concentration, since the Ego would rather do anything else.
What you are doing in therapy is usually look at your ideas or past events, and when this works, it is because you have also indirectly been looking at the underlying abstract pain. When you don't do that, you can chew over the past or your ideas forever without getting any better.
- Anything can be an addiction: cocaine, tea, work, TV, sex, exercise...
- The reason for an addiction is running away from an unseen pain.
- You can't cure an addiction if you don't heal the pain which caused it.
One of the ways you can see an addiction is something which can keep your attention. Or something which makes you feel better for a little while.
How do you heal the pain? Wow, big question. There are many, many methods. Hypnosis, EFT, emotrance, therapy, meditation, etc etc. Of course if you want to get at the bedrock pain underlying all the smaller specific problems, I recommend "quantum forgiveness", as outlined by A Course In Miracles and The Disappearance Of The Universe.
* This of course was the question that Douglas Adams was seeking the answer to in the book of that name.
Marian added something in Comments I had actually intended to include in this post:
"An interesting thing about pain is how often it can be healed by the "not-doing" of refusing the tendency towards aversion (which is another way of saying forgiveness but might be an easier way to understand that forgiveness is not a doing of anything).
In other words if you are willing to shine the light of awareness on the pain, it is seen as dissolving. So you volunteer to suffer for a brief interval while watching the pain dissolve. And then you can see that what actually created the psychological hurt wasn't the pain itself but the aversion reaction.
The mind that wants you to run from the pain, IS the pain.
Shining the light of awareness on the pain, by the way, doesn't mean trying to figure out why the pain happened, or getting involved in finding the "cause" of the pain through mental analysis. Those tendencies are also aversion reactions...
What I'm talking about is just being with it, just sitting in it and feeling the essence of it and watching what happens without thought or judgment about the process."
Indeed. Like the Course says, what allows the pain or the Ego to persist is that we don't look at it. I find that as I have advanced, I have gotten able to see Pain or Fear or Guilt directly as abstract "blobs", and just relax with them, look at them, or even reach out and "touch" them in my mind, and they will gradually melt away. Sometimes it takes some determination and concentration, since the Ego would rather do anything else.
What you are doing in therapy is usually look at your ideas or past events, and when this works, it is because you have also indirectly been looking at the underlying abstract pain. When you don't do that, you can chew over the past or your ideas forever without getting any better.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Belief in pleasure from The World
J says of the body:
"While you believe that it can give you pleasure, you will also believe that it can bring you pain."
(ACIM chapter 19)
It strikes me that the same can be said for the world of form in general.
It does not seem easy to give up the Pleasure of The World. I think desire will only go away when the need for it, the addiction, is gone. When the reservoir of Guilt is gone, or at least nearly.
When you have nothing more to run from, there will no need for anything to run to.
"While you believe that it can give you pleasure, you will also believe that it can bring you pain."
(ACIM chapter 19)
It strikes me that the same can be said for the world of form in general.
It does not seem easy to give up the Pleasure of The World. I think desire will only go away when the need for it, the addiction, is gone. When the reservoir of Guilt is gone, or at least nearly.
When you have nothing more to run from, there will no need for anything to run to.
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